"His stomach problems have disappeared since he started working with you four weeks ago."
I just LOVE coaching teens for Peak Performance! I was so thrilled to hear this report from the mother of one of my clients this week.
Lisa said, "John (not their real names) had been having major stomach issues, which would get triggered in times of stress. With the tools you have given him over the course of the last month, they have completely been eliminated from his life (on and off the court). He had a great tournament last weekend, it didn't all go according to plan, by the way, but he worked through the issues and came off the floor with a huge smile on his face. Thank you. We are so thrilled!"
We, as parents, can think of no worse pain than to see our kids in a limiting mindset that is potentially holding them back from reaching peak performance. And, so often it is this pain that keeps them "playing small" and not believing in themselves, which ultimately leads them down the path of relative unhappiness. And what parent doesn't want to see their kid happy? We are all guilty of that, right? Why is that seemingly simple request so complicated some times?
Hint: It starts from within. It starts with you.
Here are my TOP 3 Mindset Tips in Helping
Your Teen Prior to their Next Game-
1) Meet them where THEY are. The evening before their game, when you're saying goodnight to your child, ask them what they are most looking forward to about their game tomorrow?
- "Finally beating that team"
- "Playing my best and scoring 20 points!"
- "Seeing my friends and wearing those cute new purple socks we all got!"
After they have answered the question and you have really listened to what it is they want you hear. Then you can respond in kind by meeting them where they are. I.e, if your child only cares about the purple socks, you worrying about the outcome of the game is pointless, right? If they do want to talk about their performance and how they hope to play, ask them to tell you a story.
Ask them, "If the game could go exactly as you'd like, how would it go?" (hint: don't forget the juicy details!) The more specific they can be the better. They are literally painting a picture of what is going to happen tomorrow, make it good.
2) Seal it with a KISS. Wherever the vision for their game takes them, whether the focus is on the socks or the 20 points they want to score, give them a little "homework" assignment and you kiss them on the forehead.
You can say, "Did you know that whatever goes through your mind last, is what your brain processes over night? Spend these last 10 minutes of awake time picturing what that will feel like tomorrow. I can't wait to watch you play."
3) Go slow to go fast. And finally, this 3rd step is for YOU. It seems counter-intuitive, we're busy, we've got a lot to do over the course of the weekend. Who has time to slow down?
Here's what it sounds like at the Jones household on most Saturday mornings:
"Grab your water. Load the snacks. Don't forget your equipment! Did you eat? And for Pete's sake, would you please brush your teeth! We're going to be late! I'll meet you in the car! Where is the game this morning, anyway?"
You want me to slow down? Yeah, right! But, yes, I do. I want you to set your alarm 20minutes earlier than you normally do.
- Before you turn on your phone and check your email.
- Before you wake up your kid.
- Before you even turn on the coffee pot.
Check in (with yourself). It's an easy 5-15 minutes of letting go. Sit up tall, back against the couch and your head free. Close your eyes and surrender. You can take deep breaths, or count 1-5 and then 5-1. You are letting go. You are not thinking about the 20 things you will do today, you are enjoying this little alone time.
End your little self-imposed "time out" with a prayer of gratitude:
"Today is a gift. We GET to go enjoy this beautiful day together watching our kids play sports! How lucky are we?" Whatever comes to mind that morning.
Now you are ready to seize your day And the best news? You've already succeeded for the day. If NOTHING else goes to plan that day, it doesn't matter, you've already won. But given that you took the time to "do the work" and prepare for success, I think you'll be surprised how often things do roll your way!
Have an awesome weekend! I can 't wait to hear how it went!
Much Love & Successful Parenting~